A reader has shared the issues of sex abuse she has faced in the hands of her biological father over a long period of time and she is currently battling to break loose from his 'captivity'.
Dear Tori News,
Please hide my identity for security reasons. I am a 23-year old lady from the South-Western part of Nigeria. My mother died when I was at the tender age of 10. My father refused to remarry but kept a couple of girlfriends which I was indifferent about.
My father helped me immensely not to miss my mother. He filled the vacuum of motherhood which I missed with every effort humanly possible. I never really lacked any necessity as a growing child. Even though we were not too wealthy, the children of the privileged class couldn't stand me in terms of material possessions due to the extra length my father went to make me happy. He was my everything.
The sweet tale became tragic two years later. At the age of 12, my father stormed my room unclad at the wee hours of the night on a particular day, I was terrified and confused. It was like a nightmare. He demanded I took off my clothes. He lied to me he needed to perform some ancestral ritual rites on me to protect me from the evil forces that killed my mother. I couldn't think straight as a kid.
He successfully stripped me naked and sexually abused me. It was like a torture. I was really bleeding and groaning in deep pains. It was so brutal that for over a period of one week, I was walking in pains. I had to stay back at home from school to recover or else, everyone would have noticed the change in my footsteps on first sight. My father pleaded with me never to tell anyone as the gods of our village would angrily strike me to death.
He showered me with more gifts and as time went on, he started abusing me sexually on a routine basis. I was scared of sharing the story of the despicable act with my friends. I kept the top secret to myself throughout my secondary school days. I lived a solitary life as my father was against me keeping friends out of fear of me confiding in any of them. He also warned me sternly against keeping any boyfriend. I feel miserable whenever he sleeps with me and whenever I reject his advances, he beats me and forces violently.
Now I am in my final year in the University, I have a boyfriend named Benson. I am hoping to get married to him because I love him so much. He believes I am a virgin and I don't have the courage to tell him my story. My father has vehemently opposed my relationship with Benson. He has threatened to make him disappear forever. Benson means the whole world to me. I don't want to lose him and my father seems unstoppable.
I am forced to seek legal action against him which may confine him behind bars for his remaining years on earth but at the same time, he is the only family I have got. I am at the crossroad currently. It seems like my head is going to explode.
All efforts to stop my father from his 'traditional' act of sexually abusing me have proved abortive. I am beginning to conclude he needs to see a psychiatric doctor as soon as possible.
Please share your views with me.