A Nigerian lady wrote to a relationship adviser on her s*x life with her love which is currently encountering challenges.
Read the inquiry a random lady made about her s*x life before a Nigerian Tribune relationship writer, Monika Taiwo:
Dear Taiwo,
I am a 20-year-old undergraduate, I have a boyfriend who is 32, and he has graduated and already has a good job. He wants to marry me and I love him enough to want him as my husband too but of course I cannot get married now.
We have been dating for over eight months now and s*x has always been an issue between us.
He wants to have s*x with me, but I told him I wasn’t ready for s*x and that I wouldn’t want to have sex until when I get married.
It took him sometime to concede to this. The problem I am having with him, now however is that he, wants to have oral s*x with me but I don’t want it.
This is because; oral s*x might eventually lead to s*x. When I told him this, he said I have no reason to refuse to have s*x or oral s*x with him because we would eventually get married.
I cannot go ahead with him because of this reason, because something like this happened to my cousin and when she became pregnant, the man eventually did not marry her.
More so, I am still a virgin, please, help me. I love him, I want to keep my relationship with him, but he has really changed his attitude to me after I refused to have oral s*x with him about three weeks ago.
Please, what can I do?
Olaide.
Dear Olaide,
I salute your resolve, you did not state if you told your boyfriend the reason why you refused to have sex with him; your cousin’s precedence. If you have not done so, please, try and tell him. If you can’t get to speak with him one on one because you stated that he has changed to you, please, send him a text message.
If he loves you enough and really cares about you he would see reasons with you.
Although oral s*x is safe in the fact that it cannot lead to pregnancy, but I guess you are playing it safe by thinking ahead that it could eventually lead to real s*x, if your boyfriend cannot control or check himself. You know him better than I do, so I guess I should respect your experience.
The bottom line however, is, for you to explain to him, if he listens to you, okay, if not, I guess you have to let the relationship go. If you love him making up your mind could be painful, but I advise that you don’t reach a compromise that you will later regret.
Your age difference is another factor, although it shouldn’t matter where true love exists. Give it a trial again, let your man know your reason and fears, but do not let him push you into making a compromise that you don’t like.