Hot! 6 Things You Need to Know About S*x, Fantasies, Including More Powerful Orgasms

 

EVERY fortnight s*x and love expert Dr Pam Spurr brings you must-know information to put sizzle between your sheets. Follow her on Twitter for daily tips @drpamspurr.

 

All the chat about the next James Bond got my girlfriends and me chatting about our fantasy men. It nearly came to blows (not really) over who’d make the best Bond when Daniel Craig hands over the crown.

 

As the cocktails rolled, so too did admissions. Most of us had a hankering for Tom Hiddleston. But equally ranked was the eye-poppingly handsome Idris Elba.

 

Then there were some randoms like Tom Hardy (I can see it) and Benedict Cumberbatch (really?).

Whatever your fantasy figure, be reassured fantasising is a key part of a healthy sex life. As you’ll see, it only gets you into trouble at No. 6 below.

 

So here are six must-know things about fantasies:

 

People were asked (all in the name of sexology) to rate the power of their orgasms when they were fantasising or not. When allowing sexy scenarios into their minds, people rated their climaxes more powerful.

 

A very good reason to allow your mind to stray to all sorts of naughtiness IMO.

 

Another survey found couples who got confident enough to share their secret fantasies felt they had greater emotional intimacy too. It helped take their relationship to another level... with lots of lusty chat leading to feeling more loved-up.

 

Sharing your fantasies with your partner is one key way to combat bedroom-boredom. Especially as surveys find couples settle into one or two tried and trusted positions, it’s an easy way to get variation otherwise.

 

Firemen and police fantasies are repeatedly at the top of female fantasies. Don’t get this wrong, it doesn’t mean they want to be rescued from something. When asked to explain why police and firemen are so popular, most women reveal it’s about the sexiness of the uniform, some bulging biceps, and getting good guys (people who are supposed to rescue you) to do ‘bad’ things in bed!

 

So play into the fantasy details. Chat through the scenario where you’re the firemen trying to do something good, but she’s a vixen who wants to strip off your uniform and create your own heat. Help her be a bad girl!

 

One main reason people say they don’t want to share their fantasies is because they think that means they have to do role-play. They might fantasise about being a swashbuckling pirate who captures a beautiful maiden. But they’d die 1000 deaths if their partner asked them to dress as a pirate.

 

You don’t have to. Simply relax kissing and caressing your partner as you describe your fantasies to each other. Pick up the thread of your partner’s fantasy and give a new twist to the scenario. Have fun with a jokey pirate accent and banter, by all means. But you don’t have to get the eyepatch, etc.!

 

When you can’t get someone you know out of your fantasies (who isn’t your partner), you may be dangerously close to a sexual obsession. If people like that hot colleague, or your best friend’s new boyfriend or girlfriend, feature in all your fantasies, give them a wide berth.

 

Focus on your partner and fantasy figures that don’t actually touch your real-life.

 

Dr Pam’s Position: Strip Search

 

This is one of my favourite positions to recommend for fantasy play. She leans against a wall and he comes in from behind. She can leave her heels on to make penetration easier.

 

This position can go along with lots of fantasy scenarios. Like the dirty detective strip searching a suspect during questioning. Or the managing director who’s interviewing a new PA and expects her to show willing, etc.

 

Enjoy hands roaming all over her body during gentle thrusting.

 

Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr. Dr Pam's NEW dating guide is available NOW. For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk