Posted by Samuel on Fri 22nd Aug, 2025 - tori.ng
In his words, he was g@y before he got married, g@y throughout the seven years of his marriage, and still g@y after he finally found the courage to come out.
Nigerian cleric, Reverend Jide Macaulay has opened up about his personal experience of living as a g@y man while in a heterosexual marriage.
In his words, he was g@y before he got married, g@y throughout the seven years of his marriage, and still g@y after he finally found the courage to come out.
According to him, marrying a woman never changed who he was — it only forced him to live in fear, under pressure, and in silence.
He revealed that, for many men like him, getting married to the opposite sex wasn’t always a free choice but something heavily influenced by family expectations, religious demands, and cultural pressure.
He explained how living a double life left him burdened with guilt — guilt towards himself for hiding his truth, guilt towards his wife for not being able to love her the way she deserved, and guilt towards society for not fitting in.
Reverend Macaulay said things changed when he relocated to an environment where queerness wasn’t condemned with the same intensity, and he finally embraced his true identity.
“Coming out after marriage was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It caused heartbreak, but it also gave me freedom. I didn’t choose to be g@y, but I chose to stop lying about it — and that saved my life,” he shared.
He also pointed out that his story is not unique but represents countless men across the world who were forced into marriages under fear, pressure, and cultural obligation.
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