Listen Guys, These 10 Signs Shows You are Not Good in Bed

 

Just a little heads-up; fellas, if you are in the habit of rushing her the way a hungry man rushes food, you are doing it the wrong way. Take it easy and start with foreplay. If you are skipping foreplay, she might not tell you, but be advised that you are hitting the wrong buttons. Foreplay is one of the most interesting part of sexual experience every woman treasures. Don't ever joke with that!

 

You know when she’s faking it, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself. Maybe she moans too loud, or not loud enough, and she doesn’t go slightly cross-eyed like she usually does. Life is not like that classic scene in When Harry Met Sally—when your girl gives you her best Herbal Essences commercial audition, you know deep down that you didn’t really get it done.

 

It’s OK if you don’t get her off every time (as long as you’ve made an effort). But if it becomes a habit, she might upgrade to someone who can.

 

Okay, she probably isn’t going to ask you that, but if it lasted less than ten minutes, you know she’s thinking it. Trust us, there are many dudes out there who blow their top, err, flip their lid—fuck it—a lot of guys come too quickly. Sometimes it happens, and there’s not much you can do about it.

 

If you’re one of those guys, maybe you should focus on quality foreplay beforehand, or make like Austin Powers and think about “Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day” or “baseball.” Keep the party going long enough for her to enjoy herself, and if you can’t, make sure you help her get off, too. She’ll be more forgiving that way.

 

s*x is kind of like Little League: the more often they tell you how good you are, the more likely it is you actually suck. We all appreciate it when a lady rolls over in bed, turns to you, and sighs, “That was so great.” But, the trouble comes when they say it again and again. Think of it like a job interview. If they tell you more than once how perfect an applicant you are, odds are, they are going to hire someone else.

 

If she asks if she’s doing something wrong, the subtext is: “Something is off here. I’m not enjoying myself. How do we fix this?”

 

Rather than giving her a report card on her performance, get a little introspective. Tell her she’s great, and ask her if there’s anything you can do to make her feel better. Then, adjust your technique accordingly. Even some of the greatest strategies don’t always work in the field. There is no shame in switching your game up.

 

“Oh, baby. Right there. No wait, there. No, over there.” These are not accolades, these are instructions. If she is in a place where she can play the part of air-traffic controller, you might not be doing everything you can to get her up in the air. If she is moaning anything but “yes!” or your name (if it is someone else’s name, you have other problems), then you should listen up, and start taking notes. Yes, it will be on the test.

 

Sure, it’s possible that she actually does have some place to be early in the morning. But if that’s the case, why did she come back to your apartment at 3 a.m. in the first place? There’s a chance she’s just a busy woman who keeps a tight schedule, but if she doesn’t stick around for seconds, then the meal probably wasn’t very good to begin with.

Before you go into full-on ass-slapping, checking yourself out in the mirror like Christian-Bale in American Psycho mode, ask yourself a question: is this really what she wants?

 

While adult entertainers make a living treating each other’s bodies like objects, most women don’t enjoy being treated that way. Perhaps looking a woman in the eye or embracing her tenderly makes you feel far less macho than riding her like a rodeo bull, but one of those moves is going to get you invited back, and it isn’t the cowboy act. Save the “pizza delivery guy” shtick for your masturbatory fantasies and focus on interacting with her, rather than giving a performance.

Gentlemen, all good things in life take work. Just like you need to hit the gym if you want to get that six pack, and you actually need to read a damn book if you want to be a quality conversationalist, you must also work at s*x if you want to be halfway decent at it. We aren’t asking you to try the “double reverse lotus” next time you bring a girl home, but at least try a move besides the “slumbering log.”

If she says it hurts at any point or is walking like a cowboy on the way to a stand-off after you’re finished, don’t pat yourself on the back. It isn’t because you are hung like a horse (you probably aren’t, that’s just simple statistics).

 

It might be because you’re an insensitive lover. s*x is about rhythm. Don’t go thrusting away like a piston and assume she’s enjoying herself. Get in tune with your lady. Does she want power humping, or would she prefer something a little slower and sweeter? Chances are, it’s the latter.

 

We know a lot of guys get off on bragging about how many different conquests they’ve enjoyed. But at a certain point, you have to ask yourself, “How come they don’t stick around?”

 

You can explain it away and claim “you didn’t ask for her number anyway”, or that you’re “just trying to play the field.” But if she doesn’t come back for a repeat performance, we’d recommend you step your game up. You know, before you run out of girls to buy drinks. Just say no to using alcohol as a crutch.