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10 Important Tips For Dating In Your 30s

Posted by Thandiubani on Mon 29th Jul, 2019 - tori.ng

For young adults wishing to settle down, here are ten tips to help you win the heart of the one you love.

File photo
 
Dating in your 30s can feel very different from dating in your 20s. This is because as you’re older, you’re naturally carrying around a lot more baggage and of course there is also more pressure on every side.
 
However, with these tips in mind, dating in your 30s would be made super easy and interesting.

Understand that age is just a number
 
It is important for you to know that age is just a number and it only matters when you make it matter.
 
You need to stop looking at age as a “barrier”. Do not be pressured to settle for what’s not because of your age. There is nothing wrong with dating in your 30s since it is preparing you for forever.
 
Know exactly what you want
 
If you’ve never really thought about what you want in a partner, then now is the time to figure it out so you can find the right fit. Write down the names of the last few people you dated. Next to each name, list the top five things you liked about them and the top five things you didn’t like about them. You’ll probably notice that there are common descriptors on the list. The top qualities that you liked about these people are what you should look for in your next relationship.
 
Let go of the past and focus on the future
 
Nearly everyone who is single in their 30s has dealt with some form of heartbreak. Now is the time to leave the past in the past. Yes, your past has shaped who you are, but it’s your past, not your present or future. Instead of dwelling on your past, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next.
 
Let your guard down
 
When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defence mechanism is to put your guard up. If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right? However, if you don’t let anyone in, you probably won’t end up finding the one. When the time is right and you’ve met someone you’re into who is also into you, let your guard down and tell yourself everything will be okay.
 
Focus on having Fun
 
When you’re in your 30s, it’s easy to get caught up in thinking about the things you don’t have yet. You haven’t met the one, you’re not married, you don’t live in a beautiful house, and you don’t have kids. Wanting all of these things is okay, but grilling every person you date to see if they have what it takes to fulfil your expectations is not. Focus on having fun and getting to know the person. What’s the point of being in a relationship at any age if you’re not having fun? It shouldn’t be a job and it shouldn’t be depressing. A relationship should bring joy, laughter, and love whether you are 18 or 45.
 
Communication is Key
 
Good communication is crucial to any relationship. When you are dating in your 30s, you should be able to talk to your significant other openly and honestly. Likewise, they should be able to talk to you candidly. Got into your first fight? Talk it out maturely
 
Don’t waste your time
 
Don’t waste your time. If you’re not into someone, stop talking to them, stop texting them, and stop hanging out with them. Life is too short. Wouldn’t you much rather get a good night of sleep than be out drinking empty calories with a person you’re just not that into?
 
Trust your gut
 
If you have a gut instinct about someone, trust it. Listen to your intuition. If something is telling you that they’re not right, then they’re probably not.
 
Do you and be you
 
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. The real you will always come through eventually, so be yourself from the beginning. Own who you are. Nothing is more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Don’t settle, but stop seeking perfection.
 
Realize that waiting for the right person is more important than being pressured to settle for the wrong one
 
Because you are in your 30s and everyone wants you to find a partner, it’s easy to make stupid mistakes. Be focused on finding what you want, what is best for your future.
 
Culled from TheNation. 


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