Osayimwen Osahon George is back again with another exciting episode of the "Dairy of a Lagos Bachelor" which beams light on the private lives of bachelors in the commercial capital of Nigeria.
Mere illustrative photo
"One of the reasons why I left my former church (Name withheld) in 2017 was because my pastor then wanted me to lead the teenage ministry. He wanted to groom me into some kind of youth pastor" Mario said as he flipped through some pages on Instragam via his Smartphone.
"What is wrong about being a pastor?" this reporter asked.
"You don't understand" he sharply responded.
He paused for some seconds like his brain was booting and then continued: "My looks could be deceitful. People erroneously assume that I'm decent because of my gentle and good looks. Yes, I don't drink, smoke, club or keep large number of friends, but I'm not holy. I have my own demons that I privately battle with".
He went on to explain his desire to one day mentor a group of teenagers, trying to guide them on the basis of mistakes he has made, challenges faced in life and his little success but stated he wasn't ready. Mario seems to have a perfect life but no matter how well illuminated a house might be, there will always be a dark corner. Mario loves women and regularly enjoys pre-marital s*x. Even though he knows the act is a sin according Christian doctrine, he claims it’s hard to stop.
"I used to spend most of my Friday nights with a lady under me getting baptized. It was the sweetest way to ease off the Lagos stress and have smooth sleep. On Saturdays too, I could get lucky with another lady blessing me with her body. And then, on Sunday, I go to church like a holy and innocent guy like nothing ever happened. How am I supposed to mount the altar of God and preach what I don't practice? That's hypocrisy. My pastor didn't see the dark part of me. I have to overcome my demons first before committing myself to His Service" he said.
Mario might not be that chronic womanizer who changes women like his boxers but he is just like the legendary Manchester United "Ruud" van Nistelrooy; he never misses any chance when left unmarked. He never rejects any ‘food’ offered to him. In his almost three decades on this planet, he has never rejected one.
He went on to explain his encounter with a young lady he met on Instagram on a boring Saturday afternoon and how they had good s*x in just six hours of meeting each other.
Mario was relaxing at his house after a sumptuous meal when he logged on to Instagram to feed his eyes on available contents. A so-called relationship blogger who has over 500,000 followers on his page had opened up a hook up session. He told single ladies and guys to comment 'Hi' so that interested guy could contact them.
"The thread recorded over 1,000 comments in barely two hours. I didn't comment because of my girlfriend who keeps tab on my social media activities but I was privately sending my 'job applications' to different companies. I looked out for the less flashy ladies and the obviously hungry ones" he said.
When asked why he avoided the flashy ladies and the ones he assumed to be hungry, Mario explained that most ladies with shouting profiles on Instagram use their accounts to ensnare the moneybags and they see relationships from the angle of alternative employment. As for the hungry ones, he believes they come with a lot of problems that even some prominent pastors might dodge due to the complexities and recurrent nature.
Shortly after messaging about 20 ladies, he took a break and waited for responses. A lady who stays in FESTAC Town which was close to Mario's house messaged him. She wasn't the most attractive and endowed on the page but she could serve a good purpose. She looked 19 and Mario felt she was too young for him. He decided to fool around with her by offering her a s*x deal even without knowing basic details about her. The young girl who he later found out to be from Anambra State looked like a newcomer on Instagram and most of her pictures looked like what is easily obtainable on Facebook. We all know Instagram is now the centre for glitz and glamour on social media.
He immediately wrote her: "Come to my house since you live so close, I promise to make you happy"
"How would you make me happy? I don't understand" Chineye responded.
"Tell me what will make you happy and I will do it" Mario replied after understudying the strategies married men use to sleep with young girls on Instagram over a period of time.
According to Mario, he has followed testimonies of randy and successful married men. They always offer the ladies what the young and single men can't afford. Social media and false life in Lagos has put most ladies under pressure to buy expensive iPhones, shoes, clothes, perfume and even engage in Dubai trips.
So Chinenye answered again: "I want a gas oven. I want to use it for baking and it costs N40,000"
Mario whose account balance seems to have a similarity with the Intelligence Quotient of the comic member of the House of Representatives, Gudaji Kazaure promised to buy that for her but he demanded for s*x. She didn't accept or reject the deal but Chinenye promised to visit him that same day and the time was already past 7pm. Initially, she collected his phone number and house address before expressing reservations about her safety. Mario talked her out of the fear. At some minutes past 9pm, Chineye called Mario to come pick her up at the junction of his house. Mario had mix feelings of excitement and disappointment when he met her.
"She looked so young and innocent. One could mistake her for a virgin. I felt I was walking home with a 16-year old" Mario said amidst laughter.
They both got home and talked while Chineye took a soft drink. She sounded smart and she was good at holding a decent conservation. Chineye avoided the s*x agreement like a plague. Mario felt he was wasting time, so he chipped the topic in. He noticed she was too shy to talk about it. Mario who was initially sitting afar of approached her on the sofa where she was seated. She touched Mario's bushy hair and commended the softness.
Mario interpreted that to be a romantic gesture, so he simply kissed her. It was as if Chineye was waiting for the move. She held on to Mario's lips the manner at which Nigerian politicians hold their loot tightly.
"Your lips are so soft. They are the softest lips I have ever kissed" she reiterated.
This gave a huge boost to Mario who intensified the kiss and also fondled her small boobs. Her nipples were quite long. She looked fragile and one could even attempt to break her into two. Mario raised up her black shirt and sucked her boobs profusely. Chineye pulled off her top and sat on his legs with the smooching getting so intense. She kept tickling his nipples with her fingers. Mario wanted s*x, he felt it was time but he was uncertain about her reactions. He later summoned courage, lifted her up and headed for his bedroom. Chineye understood what was up. She held onto him till she was dropped on the bed. He went for her jeans shorts which he removed with a little help from her. After that, he took off her panties without any resistance. All was set for the fusion as they were both stark n*ked.
Chineye covered her face as she expected the ‘pen to write on her notebook’. Mario tried to reach for a condom in his traveling bag but it was elusive. He became anxious and unstable. In no time, he started to scatter the bag until he found one. He got it fixed and got into her immediately. Chineye was so wet; he was initially concerned about her capability to withstand his lengthy manhood which some of his previous s*x partners raised alarms about. But for Chineye, it was a smooth slide. She didn't even sweat it.
Her body swallowed it whole and there was more space. It became clear To Mario that even though she looked 16 and claimed to be 24, her honey-pot might be 35. He was stunned but he enjoyed every bit of it. Her slender stature made it fun and she had so much energy. Not too long after, Mario hit the climax. He looked at the wall clock in his bedroom and it was 9:47pm. Imagine the speed at which the romance sparked. This is what only celebrities on Instagram are entitled to.
They both went to the bathroom and washed. She dressed up and Mario walked her to the junction of his street to get a bike home.
As they walked to the junction, Mario was feeling guilty as Chineye became unusually quiet. He felt he had taken undue advantage of a naive young girl.
"How was it?....I hope I performed well?.....Be truthful oh!" he said.
Chineye smiled and shocked him saying; "That was too fast. You should have stayed longer".
He had to convince her that a rematch would be better. As Chineye zoomed off on a bike, his heart was filled with fears and regrets. He felt she was a ghost as he didn't believe he could sleep with a normal girl in just 6 hours of meeting her. He prayed to God and asked for forgiveness before he slept. He felt he might die from his sleep. He kept thinking about those bland Nollywood stories which entailed how demons transform into beautiful women for the purpose of destroying men diabolically through sexual intercourse.But fortunately for Mario, he didn’t die but lived to enjoy more s*x with her and also share the story with the outside world.
The next day which was a Sunday, he called her up again. Chineye came down and another round of s*x happened. His performance was better. The started from the sofa with Chineye sitting on his manhood and grinding her waist against his. He carried her up and continued thrusting in a standing position. It was the sweetest thing in the world.
They switched to doggy. Chineye really loved it as she kept moaning. She wriggled as Mario hit her hard from behind. It was as if she was twerking on his manhood. She was so wet, her honey-pot was dripping with juice. Mario took her to his bedroom and ended the show on a missionary note. Towards the end of the sex, she couldn't stand the heat; she was groaning aloud and trying to withdraw her waist from him. Mario gave her a hot chase on the bed. It was a mild drama to remember according to his account. After the s*x, Chineye went to the sitting room and laid on the sofa. She was too tired to utter a word. She spread her legs as she needed all the fresh air in the world to cool off her heated engine. Mario also manned the fan in his room, he was panting like someone who just escaped a death sentence.
"Chineye has been too good to be true. She claims to have a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend too. She is not even talking about the gas oven anymore. She just wants to have s*x with me. It’s not even about money, I think it’s about her happiness for now" Mario told this journalist.
Mario said he has been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts due to financial issues but he feels motivated to live due to the momentary joy Chineye has been giving him. Sometimes, she chats him up prior to his closing time at work and the duo head home together for a sensational romance.
"I hardly get tired of her…..she is open to all manners to exhilarating styles, and I think she wants to sleep with me all the time. She is such a blessing" he concluded.