Tolu Odukoya has opened up with candid reflections on marriage, divorce, and the church’s role in fostering healthy relationships.
Speaking during a recent conversation on Archives of Becoming, she emphasized that although she is divorced, she does not promote divorce as a solution.
According to her, marriage should be worked on and, where possible, restored — except in cases involving physical abuse, which she firmly stated should not be tolerated.
She also acknowledged that the church bears some responsibility for confusion around control and submission in marriage, noting that scriptures are often read without deeper explanation of roles and responsibilities.
Using the analogy of God’s forgiveness, she encouraged couples to reflect divine love in their relationships, stressing that marriage is meant to demonstrate God’s love to the world — a task she described as hard work that requires selflessness.
On remarriage, she said she cannot definitively call it God’s idea, but believes God does not intend for people to be alone. However, she added that marriage is not for everyone, explaining that it demands sacrifice and selflessness.
According to her, many enter marriage for selfish reasons — focusing on what they stand to gain rather than what they are willing to give — and such an approach makes a healthy union difficult to sustain.
"I am not an advocate for divorce even though I'm divorced... I do also believe marriage is not for everybody."
— @𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗷𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗯𝗼𝘆 (@OneJoblessBoy) February 25, 2026
- Pastor Tolu Odukoya pic.twitter.com/JWHA6cUjfe