Is S*x Better with Age? - Relationship Counselor and S*x Therapist, Funmi Akingbade Writes...

 

According to a set of researchers, they believe that a memorable, passionate and erotic s*x is mostly experienced by the younger couples while another set of researchers says s*x gets better with age; older couples have the best of s*x.

 

As a matter of fact, it is not questionable that the younger couples [age below 45] have many things to their advantage to enjoy the best of s*x such as good, energetic physical built, fresh blood, raging hormones, insatiable desire and craving, high fantasies, stamina, lower level of marital and financial stress and so on and so forth. But it has also been argued that this is not applicable in all cases.

 

Findings have shown that s*xual frustration ranks high among younger couples. Many younger couples are said to deal more with marital challenges that usually sap the joy of s*x out of their relationships than many older couples. So, is there high percentage of couples over age 45 who claim they enjoy s*x and are satisfied with their s*x life? Does sex actually get better as couples age?  Well, here are the findings of many schools of thought and what many researchers have to say.

 

Most couples over 45 think they enjoy s*x more than when they were younger. They say they are either somewhat or extremely satisfied with their s*x life. Thirty-one per cent of these older couples say they are neither satisfied nor dissatisfied. And 22 per cent of them say they are absolutely dissatisfied.

 

Experts say the s*x lives of older couples often benefit from more experience and s*xual confidence, relationships that have matured to a greater level of trust and intimacy. According to statistics, the average couple reports having sex 66 times a year. Married adults under age 30 say they have s*x an average of 109 times a year.

 

The average number drops to 70 times per year for 40-somethings and 52 times a year for people in their 50s. And amidst this, many wives of all age have confessed of higher preference for reaching orgasm through oral sex and clitoral stimulation or clitoral foreplay, than daily vaginal intercourse. While only fewer percentage of husbands reported a preference for oral s*x to achieve orgasm, many of these husbands claim that even though they would prefer oral s*x or blowjob most of the time, they are more likely to reach orgasm when s*x includes vaginal intercourse and deep thrusting in and out.

 

But women are more likely to reach orgasm when they engage in a variety of s*x acts that include vaginal intercourse or oral sex. Testosterone is sometimes called the “male hormone,” but women’s bodies make it too, just less than men. The hormone helps guys get facial and body hair, a deeper voice and sperm. For women, testosterone seems to play a key role in sex drive. When love is in the air, oxytocin is working in the body. It’s released when we hug or cuddle, and it’s linked to the bonding between spouses and mother and child. It also helps mothers with labour and breastfeeding.

 

On the average, a healthy man ejaculates around five to six minutes. This is the average duration from the beginning of vaginal penetration until ejaculation proper, which many younger couples cannot boast of, but older ones can. When it comes to stress and age, no age is off the hook. Both young and old are stressed equally and most times, this accounts for the shrinkage of the penis.

 

Stress can make a man’s p*nis shrink either young or old. Shrinkage of p*nis for healthy and younger men most time could be only temporary but with older men, it could be permanent if treatment is not applied. Actually, a man’s flaccid penis varies in size considerably because of various environmental factors and their effects on the sympathetic nervous system. Masturbation, excessive intake of alcohol, smoking, addictive use of substance, some common painkiller medications, extreme consumption of processed sugar and food, unhealthy life style, extreme cold water and cold air are perhaps the best known causes of this “shrinkage” phenomenon, but psychological and psychosomatic  stress can do the same thing.

 

Majority of adult men under 60 think about s*x at least once a day; the thought mostly stimulates good s*x while majority of men under 30 think of s*x more than six times per day and this category of men falls in the bracket of men that may not be able to express their s*xual desire legally and as a result of such go for what is called ‘quickie masturbation’ and one of the side effects of quickie masturbation is that it leaves these men with a sense of guilt, dissatisfaction, restless mind-set, addiction and premature ejaculation and weak erection, leading to erectile dysfunction.

 

When it comes to fantasies, an average young couple fantasise about s*x more than the older couples  because as men and women age, each fantasises less, but husbands  still fantasise about twice as often than their wives and sadly, they fantasise s*x with younger women than their wives’ age.

 

Studies have also shown that many women of all ages do not usually mention orgasm or orgasmic experiences  as part of their s*xual treat when asked about their most satisfying sexual experiences. Instead, they talk about feeling loved, passionate, happy, aroused, erotic and connected to their husbands, while this is not so with men of all ages. Men’s ability to reach orgasm either with their wives or alone has been one of their quests for conquest. They see it as a big achievement. Although, it actually takes a man five minutes to reach orgasm at any given time, it is an experience many men look forward to and are dying to have all the time. Even though wearing a condom can sometimes increase the time it takes to ejaculate, I always and usually recommend wearing of condom for majority of married men suffering from premature ejaculation and many have reported tremendous improvement from feedbacks.

 

 Also, the “pause and squeeze” tactic has facilitated better bonding and oneness among married couples of any age with husbands having issue with chronic premature ejaculation. Now are you suffering from premature ejaculation? Try and practise this; it will help a lot. To do this, a man either pulls out or stops touching his penis when he is about to ejaculate. He then squeezes the tip of his penis.

 

Regardless of age and gender, many married couples react same way to s*xual stimulus. For instance, most couples when their inner wrist is caressed while holding hands, it stimulates good sex more than imagined. Couples easily have sexual feelings especially when attention is given to the inside of the wrist as it can be an exciting spot. This is because it has a lot of nerve endings. You can touch gently at first, allowing your spouse to connect with the fact that you’re touching them sensually. Another spot in the body that all ages fall for is the nape of the neck.  

 

In fact, women, young or old, ranked the nape of the neck above the breasts and nipples as an erogenous zone; it’s such a sexy place. The soft spot behind the knee is another nerve-rich area where we’re not often touched. Touching the back of the knees and leading up to the thighs is intimate and it gets married spouses closer to the main attraction. Try gently touching your partner behind the knees while he or she stands in front of you or massage them there; alternating between deep pressure and a tickle. Caressing the earlobe works well for everyone of all age.

 

One of the reasons why s*x gets better with the health status than the age of either sex is because of the type of eating lifestyle many have adopted. Couples that spice up their meals with cayenne pepper [sombo] experience better s*x at any age. So, for better s*x, spice up your love life by adding some chili pepper to your diet, especially cayennes. It generates natural heat that helps relax the arteries and when the arteries relax, it helps blood flow to the heart and other organs, including the p*nis and the clitoris.

 

Chilies can also help lower blood pressure and cholesterol and prevent blood clots. Addictive consumption of garlic can take s*x life of couple from zero to surplus. Although it is a strong-smelling bulb,  it definitely could help between the sheets. If plaque forms on the walls of the arteries of either of the couple, blood flow could be cut off or reduced. That could cause a problem when it comes to romance and s*x. Garlic in your diet will help keep your arteries healthy and clear as you age.

 

Local walnuts have lots of arginine, an amino acid our body uses to make nitric oxide. They are also good sources of vitamin E, folic acid and fibre. Add a few small handfuls to your daily diet, they are high in calories. An ounce a few times a week of Dark Chocolate or local cocoa has been one of the secrets of great s*xually satisfied couples of any age. Chocolate is rich in flavanols, plant nutrients that can increase blood flow and lower blood pressure. It also helps your body make more of nitric oxide, which can help with erections.

 

Watermelon should be a night drink for every husband, it is a sweet, refreshing fruit; it has a compound that can have effects similar to ED meds on the blood vessels. It may even rev up s*x drive, studies say. Most of watermelon is water, but the rest is loaded with lycopene, an antioxidant that’s good for your heart, prostate, and skin. Do not forget that couples who sweat together stay together, so make an exercise date with your spouse.

 

Studies show that challenging physical activities spark arousal. You’ll be more attracted to your spouse post-workout, too. Coordinate your actions (for example, run at the same pace) to strengthen your emotional connection even more. Do house chores together, do gardening together, make school run a habit both of you enjoy together.

 

Funmi Akingbade is a columnist for Punch Newspapers. Over the past 20 years, she has ran a successful marriage and s*x therapy practice. Her work embraces some of the most effective and natural herbal treatments.