Help! I'm in Love with My Dead Friend's Husband - Lady Cries Out

 

A young Nigerian lady has written to a popular s*x and relationship therapist, Bunmi, who is also a columnist for Punch newspaper about her love for the husband of her late friend. Read below

 

Dear Bunmi, 

 

I lost one of my friends some years ago though we were not really close. I’d always liked her husband and was a friend. After the wife died, we started dating and became lovers. 

 

Now he says he can’t really put his mind into our relationship, that it’s too soon after his wife’s death and he still misses her. We still flirt and fond of each other, but no love making. 

 

How long should you mourn a dead spouse for goodness sake? I love him and he’s grieved for four years. Surely, he should be ready to move on?

 

Dear Hannah, 

 

We all have our time-table to cope with loss. Some people recover quickly, others take years. Maybe your man could have fallen for you more easily if you’d been a stranger he just met. 

 

As you are a long-time friend, someone he’d seen with his wife in the past, he may be reminded of her when he’s with you. He might not feel sexually for you because of this reason. 

 

Why don’t you cool things a bit for a while? He might change his mind with time, but you can’t force him to care for you. And you shouldn’t try-out of love for him and respect for your dead friend.