Is There Anything Wrong With My Love Life? (Part.3) - by Ifeanyi Nwakaudu

 

Below is a third part of a narrative piece about some of the relationship issues in our everyday life. Read and enjoy! (Click here to read the Part.1 and Part. 2).

 

I really don’t want to ruin any woman I come across again, this thought kept banging in my head, what should I do? I can’t live like this anymore; I think I should do something. I thought about telling Vivian about my escapade with Adeola, but could not, I almost picked up my phone to call Gbemi, may be telling her about Adeola would make her jealous or better still make her run after me, well for the first time my brain worked very fine, I said no, that would be shooting myself on the foot.

 

I brushed aside the short and hurting memory I had with Adeola, even though i knew i might have hurt someone in the process of finding myself, i guess it was best for me to forget her for now, when am strong i would visit her and may be apologize, but for now i cant visit her because i know what the outcome would be.

 

I think me alone can answer this question; is there anything wrong with my love life? Yes i think and know there is something wrong with my love life and even me as a person, i really don’t want to go on like this, what could i do, what could be done? Should i go back to being friends with Gbemi like the good old days or stick to looking at her from a social media point of view? No, i know i love this girl, i sure do love her.

 

Ifeanyi its time you speak to someone, but who can i speak to, well i have an ample amount of friends i could speak to, but am sure they will mock me at the end of the day and proffer little or no solution, who do i turn to? i think i know someone.

 

See how funny we humans are, we only remember good friends when we are in trouble, but it’s actually not our fault, life happened and friends became names in contact list, how much i miss the good old days of friendship and copied assignments. This is the case of my good old friend Oluchi, I met her in 2008 on a bus back to School, i never knew she was in my department and that we would end up being best of friends. She is a total definition of friendship, i spend couple of hours at her house back then and the gesture was reciprocated a couple of times, but guess what University life is different from the reality we see in Lagos, friends only remember you when you change your social media status or like my own case, when you are in trouble.

 

I am in trouble, so i decided to speak with Oluchi, it was a long conversation, it was a very easy to relate issues to her because she is intelligent and most importantly at one point or the other in school we have discussed about Gbemi. I told her everything about my love life and the fact that i need a new life, a new love life and yes with Gbemi in it. While she was talking i spoke to myself "Oluchi where have you been all this while, you seem to have all the solutions to my problem".

 

She spoke in a very low, soft and sweet voice "I don’t think the problem is from your love life, but there is everything wrong with your person, Ifeanyi you are sick, you are not whole. How can man ever be whole and healed without the healer Himself? So very impossible" i was puzzled, i know am sick, i know am not whole, but who is this healer she kept on talking about. She continued "By healer, I’m sure you can only guess who I’m referring to? Yes Him"

 

I think i know who she is referring to, i need to find my roots with my father, i need to reconcile myself with Him, i need to embrace the peace and joy that comes with knowing Him. i think in the search of finding cure for my love life, i found something special, His Love. In as much as i love Gbemi, i would focus on finding myself in Him and building a relationship with Him.

 

Thank you Oluchi, i think He used you to get to me.