For those experiencing crisis in their marriages, here are tips on how you can fall in love again.
It can be very scary for a married couple to go through a lull in their relationship. Although it’s perfectly normal to lose interest or feel less in love with a spouse after being married for years, yet it’s difficult to acknowledge it. Some would blame it as a ‘mid-life’ crisis while others would question their own loyalty towards their partner. Overcoming these feelings of inadequacy or lack of love can be very difficult. Will you be surprised if we tell that you can fall in love with your husband or wife again? All it needs are some proactive action.
1. Stop the critic inside you
The first thing you need to do to reverse this situation is to stop the critic inside you. When you are married for long, it is normal to grow a little critical about your spouse’s disturbing habits. For example, his habit of leaving the wet towel on the bed or her habit of overspending on the latest clothes and cosmetics. The more we criticize a partner, the more we harbor negative feelings towards him or her. The sooner you stop this habit, the easier it will become to bring back the lost emotions.
2. Reconnect with the person you were when you fell in love with
Marriage brings about a lot of changes in our lives and no wonder when you feel that you are falling out of love, it’s quite normal to miss the person that your spouse used to be during the initial days of your marriage. But have you ever wondered that your husband or wife might be feeling the same? Like the way your spouse might have changed, you too might have embraced some changes in your attitude or the way you dress or behave. So, try reconnecting with the person you used to be when you were in love.
3. Share interesting, not routine incidents
With marriage comes household and financial responsibilities. And with time, the willingness to try new things gradually disappears as the couple takes up newer and newer responsibilities. In their quest to lead their routine life they lose touch with their spirit of adventure. They forget that it is this willingness to experience something exciting that keeps the spark alive between two people. Hence, to bring the lost spark back, it’s important to create and share interesting or exciting moments rather than just spend days doing routine things.
4. Don’t stop being intimate
Science has proved how physical affection helps couples overcome differences and feel more connected. Sometimes stress and our busy schedule can have a toll on our relationship with a partner. Surprisingly, couples might spend days without having any physical relationship and they might not even be aware of it. Whether you realise it or not, it’s important to have sex regularly with your partner. Because, according to experts, getting intimate with a partner promotes feelings of trust and bonding.
5. Clear communication
Sometimes you need to take the bull by the horn. We agree that it’s not easy to address issues related to growing distance and lack of love between spouses. But it’s important to have that ‘talk’ and figure out what is making you grow apart from your partner. And don’t go in circles while you talk about it.
6. Do not look for love outside the marriage
This is one of the biggest mistakes couples make when they go through mid-life crisis in their love life. The temptation to look for love from a third person, when the attraction between the partners hangs by a thread, can be hard to resist. But once you get close to someone else, it will cause irreversible damage to your marriage.
7. Have patience and seek help from counsellors
To overcome this challenging phase in your marriage, you need a lot of patience. It took years to reach this stage and it can be very frustrating to see your marriage hit a plateau. But acting impulsively to reverse the situation might end up doing more harm than good. If you feel that things are heading for the worse, you can seek help from relationship experts or counsellors.